Decades later, I understand why moms could benefit from pastoral counseling.
As a young child, I remember a day when my mother was struggling. She seemed frustrated and out of sorts. I could tell she was restless and bothered as she seemed more restless than on other days. She was getting ready to meet with our local Jesuit priest at Saint Gabriel's church in the UK then. She told me that she had a conversation scheduled with him; however, she did not disclose what the meeting was about. My mother went to the meeting, and when she returned, she was frustrated and angry with him. At the time, she had never disclosed any of the content of the meeting to me. She stated, "You go to these people for help, and they fob (dismiss) you off." I asked, "What did he say?" She said he asked her to attend another group held in the church. My mother was so put off by this encounter with her Episcopal priest that she was reluctant to attend the group. I encouraged her to go. A week later, she went to the group and returned even more frustrated. Mum never mentioned the details of what happened in the group except to say that she felt like she wasn't wanted and never felt wanted by the other ladies of the group. I did not truly understand what she meant. I realize now that there is so much about my mother that I never understood. My mother's frustration sent her shopping for churches, and eventually, she found a good fit. She was at a point when she was looking for compassion and guidance, which she was not finding in the Episcopal church. I see now that my mother may have also been helped by psychoanalysis, but because of cultural biases at that time and other issues, she could not utilize its aid. During my training as a clinical chaplain, I have often thought of my mum and how she would have benefitted from the kind of clinical pastoral counseling that organizations like CPSP train people in. I appreciate how my clinical chaplaincy training has helped me to understand myself better so that I can be of better service to others. I value the importance of self-exploration in training and understanding family and group dynamics and how we react in certain situations. As I think back on my mother's interaction with her priest, I can understand how devastated she was not to get the support she was looking for. She was raising five children - one boy and four girls as a single mother. Three children were approaching their teenage years, and two were on the eve of adulthood. In addition, Mum was a smoker back then, with trips to the doctor to get a tonic. I am sure she needed a lot more than a tonic! I recently had a moment of clarity, compassion, and understanding about my mother. She often talked about not being wanted in her family and feeling like an outsider. It made perfect sense why she would have sought out support from her priest. Her interactions with the priest and the group she was referred to were typical for the time. No wonder she felt rejected and dismissed! I often wonder if the priest and other pastoral counselors had been through the training of CPSP, would they have been able to learn and embody the skills necessary for authentic engagement? Through self-inquiry, psychodynamics, and group relations practice, would they have better been able to make a difference in the lives of six individuals in my family and beyond. I have made it my task to bring clinical counseling, pastoral, and psychotherapy to my practice as I definitely see a need for community chaplaincy. I see a growing need to make pastoral counseling and support accessible to seniors and an inter-generational and inter-spiritual demographic. My mother is now ninety-five. Through the Evangelical church, she has finally found some peace. Unfortunately, the unresolved issues have trickled down to her children, whether we choose to acknowledge them or not, making their lives challenging and challenging others consciously or unconsciously. Pastoral care needs to come out of hiding in hospital settings and institutions where it struggles to be recognized and funded and become available to our communities. Just watching the news these days shows the increase in mental health issues. This training does matter as people's lives are at stake both directly and indirectly. Photo credit: Andrew W. J. Harriott
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by George Hull, CPSP Diplomate Clinical Pastoral Supervision As a nation, we must do everything in our power to support and care for our veterans. This includes providing them with the best possible care, including spiritual and emotional support from chaplains in the Veterans Affairs (VA) system. However, the current requirement for the position of Chaplain in the VA mandates that all candidates must have completed four units of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) from a CPE center that is accredited by an organization recognized by the U.S. Department of Education. While this requirement is intended to maintain high standards of professional competency and excellence in pastoral care, it is also excluding qualified chaplains who have completed their CPE training through the College of Pastoral Supervision and Psychotherapy (CPSP). Many of these CPSP-trained chaplains are veterans themselves who have served in combat and have firsthand experience of the challenges faced by our service members. Their unique experiences and qualifications make them highly valuable and effective in providing support to veterans. However, the current requirement does not take into account the training and qualifications of CPSP-trained chaplains, which raises questions about whether the VA is fully leveraging the expertise and experience of these chaplains. The exclusion of qualified chaplains based on narrow accreditation standards is concerning, particularly given the pressing needs of our veterans. It is crucial that we review and revise the current requirements for VA chaplaincy to ensure that we are not unintentionally excluding qualified individuals. As we honor and support our nation's veterans, let us prioritize their care and support, including spiritual and emotional support from qualified chaplains. We owe it to our service members to ensure that we are doing everything in our power to provide them with the best possible care and support. Republished with permission. Today’s theme is transforming the clutter of the mind by reflecting in the spaces you keep – whether it’s your home, office, other spaces, or even your mind! In a bit, I’ll share a little story of something which happened to me, but first, I want to establish what I’ll be talking about today – Feng Shui. There are five basic rules to it:
Feng Shui goes further to lay out the best way to work in harmony with nature and your life. Now, my story… By the door in my apartment, I had some shelves right by that front door. When I first put it there, it was useful. However, over time, it became a catch-all for lost items. I had systematically been clearing those shelves until I had this notion what if I was to give the shelves away. Simultaneously my appointment book had slowed down, as I had not had a client in weeks. These days, I don’t panic; I simply understand that the slowing down means some revelation is going to be revealed or a catalyst for some change that is going to be revealed. So, the day came for the person I offered the shelves to come over. We packed them up, and she went on her way. After the shelves went, I noticed I experienced a sigh of relief. The corner where they once stood became lighter, more spacious, and clearer – it felt like I had cleared the way. How many times of letting go of some item or a thing or a position clear the way for the good to make its way to the surface through the muck and mire of stubbornness, opinion, and will? I went to bed, and when I got up in the morning, I noticed a referral in my email box. It might have just been a coincidence or synchronicity. Just as I was admiring the universe for its reward, I downloaded a thought in my mind; I remember having read in a Feng Shui book to always leave the space beyond your doorway clear as it blocks energy and communication from coming through. (I remembered.) Energy and vibration play an understated and important role, from being in sync with the universe to being out of sync or distorting the picture. Emotions and thought patterns, such as joy, peace, and acceptance, create high-frequency vibrations, while other feelings and mindsets, such as anger, despair, and fear, vibrate at a lower rate. For me, this situation with my set of shelves was poignant because every so often, there is a need to de-clutter or wipe away the film over our third eye or cleanse our channel so we can gain clarity for ourselves primarily and then for others. There is a cleansing of the physical things we may use in our spiritual lives - even Tarot cards, runes, gems, and stones have a cleaning ritual. Houses, apartments, workspaces, and so on can be cleaned every so often by burning sage or other herbs or woods. Churches use incense to sanctify, purify, or make sacred. Cleansing is a theme throughout faiths. In the Christian faith, in the Bible, there is mention of the floods during Noah’s time in the Genesis narrative can be looked like cleaning up a purification process. In baptism, the water is said to cleanse the believer from their sins. In the Muslim faith, believers must wash before prayer. In the Jewish faith, followers must stay clean or be separated from the congregation or community until they have cleansed themselves. Psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Gustav Jung said: “I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” Here where we are, maybe there is a project around our house that needs some attention, and what if that project is blocking our good from coming to us? It could be that it is simply because of the energy it traps and stalls. What if it is a part of a story that is waiting to unfold for your highest good? Think about that. Is it representative of the cluttered thoughts or thoughts being held on or a position you held which has not allowed for any other thought to enter which might relieve you of the burden of being right or surrendering to it might be time to change? Whether it’s going to therapy to process a traumatic childhood event or grief or processing the end of a relationship, the organization of your thoughts, memories, and emotions is as important as what you do with your physical environment and physical items. Each one of those physical items carries a thought or a vibration, such as jewelry of an old relationship or other tangible items from difficult relationships – it all carries a vibration. Some are in harmony in your home or mind, and some carry a lower vibration. And keep you stuck in a paradigm of confusion or lack. Returning to the subject of Feng Shui. Being organized and tidy was top of the list! By organizing your mind, you are opening your doorway – you are freeing the dam to allow the flow of whatever it is that is good to come to you. The good that can come to you in the way of peace of mind is priceless. What is standing in your doorway blocking your good? Could it be you? Photo credit: Andrew Harriott, 2022.
“Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.” ― Martin Luther King Jr. Until today, I have passively sat aside and chosen not to raise any eyebrows or cause any waves in whatever environment I am in. This last February, especially, I became aware of my ancestors as I watched a television show on a black museum opening in Atlanta, Georgia. In the preview for this museum, there was an exhibition of well-to-do families, and it made me sit up and pay attention a little closer, as I had never seen turn-of-the-century photographs (the 1900s) of affluent African American families. I was impressed because the photos I’d seen of African American families, usually depicted dirt poor families in a state of poverty. So, this began to pique my interest.
Typically, on Black History Month, the achievements of African Americans played in the background of my mind, while in the periphery. The gains and achievements are highlighted together and with African Americans who have broken through the bindings of racism to achieve great heights in their respective careers. I have always acknowledged it, but soon after Black History Month is over, I have gone on to the status quo of everyday living. Today, I described myself as an outsider to the African American experience because I am a European black man of Caribbean descent. I had always been alerted to prejudice and since coming to the U.S., I have experienced racism. When I was at school in the U.K., there was extreme discrimination against Asian cultures, primarily because of cultural differences, the way they looked, what they ate, and how they dressed. The racism I experienced in the U.S. was from individuals confronting me using expletives about the color of my skin and telling me where I can live based on the color of my skin; denied opportunities for relationships based on the color of my skin; denied jobs based on the color of my skin and insulted and humiliated me in the workplace due to the color of my skin. When I first arrived in the U.S., I went looking for a job, and went from store to store, when I finally got hired, it was explained to me that the only reason, I would be hired was because of the way I spoke. I was the only black man hired in that area, in any store, who would have direct interaction with the public. Being an outsider has had its privilege because it opened doors because of my British accent and has closed doors because of my skin color. Both have put me in a position to witness systemic racism and have been victimized by systemic racism. However, these experiences have been difficult to contain. Now, since becoming a chaplain, I have identified some areas of systemic racism. This leads me to ask some questions, one of which was a question I put out there for an answer to the founders of clinical pastoral education/training, “Are there any African American CPE/T founders?” One of the people I reached out to for an answer was Robert Charles Powell, MD, PhD, who mentioned that close to the early conception of CPSP, along with the usual white attendance, there were non-white women in attendance in those early days. Additionally, Dr. Powell gave reference to The Rt. Rev. Dr. Emmanuel Y. Lartey, a theologian from Ghana, and in his Pastoral Report article, “Formation and Transformation ‘Discovery and Recovery’ of Spirit and Religion in Crisis and Custom”(Jan. 15, 2006), Powell writes: Lartey called upon chaplains to engage critically and empathically, encouraging and empowering others to work towards creative change of community-destroying structures. As a CPE/T supervisor and because of my color, the administration of various hospitals and hospices, looks at me as “head prayer warrior” rather than as a clinician. It is tough to control when it involves the administration that pastoral care needs to encompass to maintain existence. I have also been in situations where I have been excluded as a viable candidate because of my skin color. The cultural preference was designed to increase more profitability for the said organization. A few years ago, I attended a group relations process run by New York University and connected to A. K. Rice International. In this group process, we were separated into various groups and the professional group I was in contained doctors and educators. One of the conclusions that came out of that group was the doctors and academic educators, primarily white, admitted they were discouraged and, in some cases, apathetic in encouraging African American participation. When they looked further into why, they concluded that most of the books they were using for educating students were all written by white authors, and therefore, African Americans were less inclined to be encouraged or inspired to join their classes. Likewise, in our training as clinical chaplains and pastoral counselors, we are practicing the same types of approaches when we are complacent or apathetic about the materials we use for our training. Systematic racism is very prevalent in our academia and education. Perhaps I’m not saying anything others haven’t said before or noted before, however, the mere fact I have put pen to paper today to express some of these feelings and experiences means that Black History Month is doing what it is intended to do, and that is to bring awareness, even to me, as an outsider, and it has inspired me to join the list to help bring awareness to a voice that often feels like the outside. |
AuthorRev. Andrew Harriott is a certified Diplomate Supervisor; Clinical Chaplain/Pastoral Counselor; and clinical fellow in Hospice and Palliative Care. He is the convener of the Spuyten Duyvil, NY Chapter. Andrew has served on the CPSP Certification Committee, and he is the former Convener of the Chapter of Chapters. Andrew's clinical pastoral education training center, International Chaplain Foundation, is in New York, NY. Archives
February 2024
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